By
Chop Smith on July 23rd, 2006
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Just down the road from the lake at Mize, Mississippi, the annual Smith County Watermelon Festival was held this weekend.This was the worst year for growing watermelons that I can ever remember because of the drought. Six years ago, you could find 90 pound watermelons, but this year one is lucky to get one that weighs 15 pounds.
Traveling to the festival, just off the side of the road on Highway 49, I found the main ingredient for our summertime happiness. They raise them in Smith, Covington and Simpson counties and they are delicious–Smith County watermelons, fresh out of the field and they are ripe right now. Raising Smith County watermelons in this part is a family thing and is passed down to the next generation. In the 30’s folks would harvest their Smith County melons in July and haul them in an old truck over a gravel road to Memphis, over 250 miles away. The round trip took over 24 hours and the return trip back began only after the last melon was sold or eaten. These days, there is not much hauling them to Memphis anymore. Today, the customer base passes right by stands and trucks parked along Highway 49.
What makes Smith County watermelons so special? It is a combination of the Mississippi climate and our rich Smith County soil. Watermelons from South Florida are good melons, but they raise them in sand and they irrigate them every day. Here, though, the watermelon growers depend on the water to fall from the sky. The combination of warm temperature and lots of rain in the spring makes for a bumper crop of Smith County watermelons which is satisfying monetarily to the grower. Best of all, those Smith County watermelons will satisfy no telling how many folks sweet tooth when they split them open.The Smith County Watermelon festival was loads of fun. Those in attendance could enter the watermelon seed-spitting contest. A live band played down home southern rock sprinkled with some country. Governor Haley Barbour was on hand and the crowd included scores of volunteers who are helping coastal communities rebuild after Hurricane Katrina. I left a bit early as I had to stop in Magee for a little shopping. Looking for a parking place up close, I found an over-doze victim. 
By
Chop Smith on July 18th, 2006
Posted in Life On The Lake | 1 Comment »
While I know i Shouldn’t be posting this I thought i’d goose a halfdeck and see if he’s still reading.
This months top 15 search terms are:
- sex chop–makes me wince every time
- nude body paint–I’d love being the DaVinci of Porn
- young whore–WHERE??????
- landing strip close up–that’s shaved pussy not hartsfield airport
- lake of the ozarks nude pics–I feel a vacation cumming on. perhaps Missiouri needs me.
- nude washington state women– after viewing trixie’s pictures I’m so there!!
- raw teen cunt– I’ll take that anytime
- Smith county watermelons–actually Smith county, Miss. is very well known for their juicy crop of melons and their pretty pink pussys.
- smut gremlin driving in her miss daisy–always gives me a good visual.
- lake titty fuck–Mapquest does not have any location called “Lake Titty”
- cheating bride cocksucker–I’ll take my cock sucked no matter what
- teens at the lake bikini nude–hmmm if they have on a bikini how can they be nude
- southern pic slut 2006–running for my camera..need to find southern pic sluts.
- god sex chop–now this title i can live with!!
- lady wanking–mmmm love THAT visual!!
and that’s it for this month.. Porn is good!!
By
Chop Smith on July 16th, 2006
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When they say it’s not the heat it’s the humidity, they have never spent at week in July in Las Vegas. I can tell you it is the heat!!
Just stepping outside from the airport is like a blast furnace. That never ends. It’s not so bad in the evening being a balmy 88 degrees but during the day one runs from one air condidtion room to another.
I stayed at the hardrock hotel and there was some GREAT eyecandy walking around, both as content for the convention and just little MarySue from Iowa who is making her first trip with her girlfriends to Lost Wages. The view from my room was perfect!!
I’m glad to be back on my lake tho the view isn’t quite as good!!
By
Chop Smith on July 6th, 2006
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This time next week I will be sunning my buns in Las Vegas, that oasis of sin in the Nevada Desert. Where the air conditioning runs 24/7 and the women are colder than Alaska in January.
It’s a business trip but I intend to cover my own addiction while I’m there. No not Slut machines (and I’m not talking hookers on Boulder highway either) not dancing until dawn. But I am addicted to those COCKtail hotties that come around and give you drink after drink while you wait for the bells and whistles to go off. They say they are “free” but we all know they cost some 1000’s of dollars. My addiction isn’t to demon alcohol either.
Addicted to Coke At Six Years of Age
Each morning as Mommy Chop would awake lil’ Chop for school by handing him a small glass of coke to kick start his morning. Thus my addiction began and has continued to this day. I drank 12 cans of coke each day and it has been a source of many jokes from my friends. Today, my friend frog sent me the following”
WATER OR COKE?
WATER
1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.
2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.
3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one’s metabolism as much as 3%.
4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study.
5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.
7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.
8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.
COKE
1. In many states (in the USA) the highway patrol carries two gallons of coke in the truck to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.
2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coke and it will be gone in two days.
3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and let the “real thing” sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.
4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.
5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.
6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.
7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for sumptuous brown gravy.
8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains.
9. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.
Additional Info:
1 The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about 4days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis.
2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the Hazardous material place cards reserved for highly corrosive materials.
3. The distributors of coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years!
Now the question is, would you like a coke or a glass of water?
Chop’s answer is “Hand me a Coke, please”.
By
Chop Smith on July 1st, 2006
Posted in Life On The Lake | 3 Comments »
Every 4th of July weekend, the Mississippi version of our branch of the Smith family gets together to spread more lies about how big of a fish we caught on our last vacation to Lake of the Ozarks. I’m supposed to be leaving in a few hours to glad hand about with my cousins and their spouses and off spring, most of which are grown. Here is a tent shot from last years very exciting and humid party.
True story. Last year it was at my brother’s house. Tent in the backyard. Now I have 3 Baptist ministers in the family. (and i’m the pornagraphic black sheep) Being a Baptist minister in the south is a position that is elevated beyond mayor and sometimes up with the governor especially if said governor is Methodist or god forbid, Luthern.
Because it was at his house my brother got to say the blessing. So he blessed the food so long that I got a headache from having my head bowed. Just as he finished, another preacher cousin said “lord, I would like to add a few words”. If he added many words, we would have been there ovenight. So we eat. The third preacher is eyeing every one and as we finish eating, he blesses the food we had eaten.
I guess if we had a fourth one, he would have taken up outhouse duty to bless it when we flushed it
Have a SAFE and happy 4th.
See ya’ll round the lake.